I have not gained much clarity still in the head since. Grey and rough thoughts of my uncertain forward and the unforgiving yesterdays still decorate and fill the already bleak and dark spaces of the mind.

It seems that more effort and tougher changes only have bared even worse outcomes swaying much further than the initial point grasped and the expected end.

I still harbour extreme pain and severe wounds in the abyss of what seems to have been the thoughtful and cunning heart.

 It seems impossible and unthinkable for the hurt to vacate and leave the beating walls and the squeezing tunnels of it too.

Yet I am tired and exhausted with all these almost norms.