What is to be expected ..

I woke up quite early this morning.. 1st thing came across my semi-functional & jerky morning brain was the scene I'll be seeing later at the hospital ..

I can't imagine babah after the bypass as I have never seen him in that state .. (I was never with him in critical conditions, that's what losers do ..) I expected him to be jabbed here & there with cables & drip tubes & other similar horrific hospital equipment.

I foresee myself collapsing at the 1st site of Babah as I have some problems with syringes, blood & chloroform smell ..

Anyway ..

I arrived at the CCU & saw him .. he was doing some physiotherapy exercise (assisted by hot physiotherapist :p) with a few wires poking his neck, oxygen tube thru his nose, drip inserted in his hands ...

Gloom started to fill me .. He didn't talk much (still under the influence of drugs I believe) ..
Luckily I didn't faint though ..

He complained the bed was not comfortable enuff but soon reasoned to himself by mumbling 'this bed is not meant for comfort anyway' ...

After a few mumbles (words) with Mama, he called my name ..
He asked me to grab his hand & squeeze it ..

With 1 eye closed & the other half opened, he looked at me & said .. "Promise me.. promise Babah k? Don't be like this .. remember our deal yesterday" ..

He personally spoke to me on the 1st day he was admitted, insisted I quit smoking ..

..... well it only lasted for 2 days ... damn ..

No News Yet ...

hmmm .. no news yet from Babah .. (he's still unconscious) .. I'm not allowed to be there, Babah's request ..

He only told me to come to see him tomorrow, as he will regain consciousness tomorrow evening .. 

& he will still be warded till next Wednesday .. hmmm .. having mixed feelings here .. 

hope the operation went well .. god willingly .. :) 

This & That

Hey there Ms. CyberSpace!

It's 5.12pm & I just woke up from a supposedly short nap I took this afternoon at 2pm. 

Dozed off after coming back from visiting Babah at Ampang Putri Hospital. He admitted himself there yesterday evening after experiencing difficulties in breathing .. 

The doctor showed me Babah's X-ray films this morning .. Babah's lungs were literally drowned in fluid! The doctor also showed me the 3 main arteries which were blocked .. the doctor said Babah was very lucky to have survived.. 

this is Babah's 2nd bypass .. last time was in 2005 I guess .. but back then it was only 1 artery blocked.. 

Babah will be going to the OT tomorrow morning at 9am .. 

I hope everything's gonna turn up well .. 

I am Significant !

Hey, I just discovered something last weekend!

Someone who hates & despised me is still talking bout me! 

Hmmm I am so proud & happy that this Ms 'Soo Much Free Time & Sooo Intelligent' is still bad-mouthing bout me! This shows how I am super significant to her life .. aaaahh .

Thank God I was dumped by her! I do not want & refuse to spend my life with someone who is shallow & brainless! 

:)

Kids = Tranquility

Juz got back from my department's family day at PD (Port Dickson).
I am exhausted & drained by the cute & funny tele-matches I participated in (although only 2 or 3 games, damn I need more exercise !:p)

The food & drinks were superb though! (coz it was sponsored & paid for hence I gobbled & gulped them like a camel in an oasis after days in the Sahara! :p)

But what I really took delight in was the presence of adorable & darling, restless yet angelic KIDS!

I was at the side of the tele-match area this afternoon .. & it was the kids' session... I did not intend to lose myself with their bubbly & carefree nature ..

Alas .. I was actually smiling & was in a state of extreme tranquility (without me noticing) just by watching them running & giggling & teasing each other with the purest & sinless acts ..
heheheh
Cute creations of God ..

My thoughts of life & its difficulties were magically & mystically was blown away by this unique & exclusive creations of God's, laughter & joy!

The act of hoisting them cute 'creatures' too transmits a tremendous rush of endorphins up my brain! (a rush no artificial or man-made 'practice' can achieve)
.. they just simply take u to somewhere u never thot u could be & feel .. they are just magical !! no more words can describe them ..

Hmmm maybe it's about time for me to be getting one :p

Pen & Paper ..

Hmm, I can't help but think of what bouncing echoes in my head need to be realized & materialized in words here, the whole hot sunny day at the office.

I had tonnes to express & share (I think) this morning, while I was on the bus to work.
Fortunately, I got them restless echoes, pacified & calmed in my virtual grasps (held & locked them in my biological Central Processing Unit & storage compartments A.K.A my brains) ..

Sorted them in folders, separated by their natures, I even named the folders for the ease of retrieving later.
I was so sure that they will still be there in those named (some cutely & some demonic) & tagged folders, till I reach back home for the daily data purging & converting to physical & tangible words & phrases ..

Thanx to my rapidly deteriorating cerebellum, cerebrum, encephalon & medulla oblongata (some call it brains :p), all those nice, neatly organized "echoes" are bouncing, banging their selves against my CPU walls back again once I finished work & reached home .. SIGH !!

That's why I decided to have my trusty notebook (conventional notebooks with cardboard covers & lined pages :p) with me all the time from tomorrow on .. so help me God :D

I can't afford to lose more precious thoughts & impulsive ideas (which do not last even a minute in my mind) no more .. hmmm I wonder how many great & superb ideas I have neglected & forgotten in this 27 years of my life.

So friends, take my advice, have a pen & paper near you MOST of the time aight! :D we humans have flaws & imperfections ..

"Ther is chkn cury n othrs fr ur dnr"

07/04/09 started off rather well & early for me today (but it could have been earlier on other unfortunate days, THANXSS to my job ! :p).


The good thing is, I was left alone with ma beloved & precious dormancy (or better known as sleep :p) thru the whole, rainy & windy nite, without any intrusion from the dreaded & damned images of "the past" .. hmmm .. :D

Anyways...

Time, bizarrely seemed to have bolted swiftly today at office (most probably an undefined psychological effect of my undivided focus to work :p :p :p) & I was reminded that I am to log out of the system (to end my shift) very soon by a familiar vibrating & buzzing sound from my cell...

It's a text from Mama:

"Ther is chkn cury n othrs fr ur dnr"

WOOHOO !!
To my delight DINNER IS PREPARED !!

The ramblings & growlings of my tummy are soon to be tamed & shut by her superb & suit for kings spread of grubs!

I was greeted with not only "chkn cury" but also a bowl of "sotong goreng kunyit" (stir-fried squid with Tumeric powder, onions & potato slices) & "ikan jelawat goreng" (some kinda freshwater fish with tonnes of bones, coated in a batter & deep fried) !!

BEST KAN ???? hehehe

Sometimes I wonder in sorrow .. what am I gonna do without her in my life ... am I able to compensate her cuts & bruises in preparing my meals .. will I be able to be what she wants me to be ... How am I supposed to repay her back...

Tough ain't it?

07/04/04

5 years ago, on this very same day & month, i went thru THE BEST (so far)

Dear Cyberspace, It's Inhabitance & Patrons ..

Wish i could decorate your virtual walls with potraits of tranquility & ur ceilings with chandeliers of bliss ...

Sadly I am only able stain them with marks of desperation & darken it with gloom & vengence ..

I was brought back to the world of reality (after a mere few hours of shut eyes) yesterday morning by an image which i would luv to forget & erase from my mind ...

So that explains the gloom & frown of my very 1st enrty .. sigh ..

But i assure u this state would'nt last for forever (godwillingly !) .. :D

What I forsee is having a mambo jambo, mix & match, collage like virtual log book as i will be sharing with you what i feel, what i see, what i think (which happens to be never in order or organized! :p)

.. mussssst ... ggggeeett ... sleeeeep ..